Category Archives: Living Will Form

Living Will Form. Advance Directive. Advance Health care Directive. End of Life Wishes

Planning for Incapacity or Death: “A Cranky Old Man”

A friend sent me this poem by a “Cranky Old Man”. It has a message that all of us should think about as we care for elderly or incapacitated family members.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!

It’s Donate Life Month

This is Donate Life Month. It’s a good time to think about how you can help others. Just pledge to donate your organs, tissues and corneas to others when you die; by doing so, you may save up to eight lives and enhance the lives of many others.

Did you know that as of March 2012, there were 113,115 patients waiting for an organ donation or tissue or cornea transplant? More than 1,800 of them were children. (Source: organdonor.gov)

In 2011 there were:
14,144 organ donors
28,535 organ transplants
More than 46,000 cornea transplants

Each day, an average of 79 people receive organ transplants.  However, an average of 18 people die each day waiting for transplants that can’t take place because of the shortage of donated organs.

To learn more about how and why you should help or to sign up, go to organdonor.gov today.

Isn’t great to think that you can save others, even after you’re gone?

To find out more about end of life planning, check out diesmart.com.

Let’s talk about dying!

Today is National Health Care Directives Day.   A day to talk about death.    A day to talk about Living Wills and Health Care Power of Attorney forms, referred to as advance health care directives.

Why is it important to talk about dying and health care directives.  It’s simple.     We will all die.   However,  the way we will die will be different than the way our grandparents died.   They died fast, due to acute illnesses like influenza or pneumonia.  A government study envisions that today, 80 percent will die a lingering death from things like Alzheimer’s, emphysema, cancer and Parkinson’s.   Our children or our spouse will need to make choices on our behalf between life…and quality of life.

When having dinner with your friends or family tonight, think about that sobering number.   Three out of the four people sitting at the dinner table will die a lingering death.    Someone will need the legal authority to make health care choices on your behalf.   Someone will be hoping they are making the choice you would have wanted.

Rather than talking about the  engagement ring Brad gave Angelina….make your dinner conversation important.    Ask yourself these questions:

  • Who do you want to make health care choices on your behalf?
  • What choices do you want them to make?
  • Do you want to donate your organs or your tissues?
  • Have you completed a living will and a health care power of attorney form documenting these wishes.   If so, where are they?    In California and some other states, these two forms are combined in a single form referred to as an Advance Health Care Directive.

Your estate planning lawyer can help you complete a Living Will and a Health Care Power of Attorney form.     You have the right to complete these forms without involving a lawyer.

Hers’s some resources that may help you start the discussion:

A great presentation by Dr. Peter Saul at the TED conference called “Let’s talk about dying.”
When families can’t agree what to do:   A personal experiences described in the San Jose Mercury News:  http://www.mercurynews.com/cost-of-dying/ci_20403982/national-day-support-end-life-health-care-planning
Where Can You Get Free Health Care Directive Forms:   http://diesmart.com/elder-law/living-wills/

 

25 Documents You Need Before You Die

Recently, the Wall Street Journal weekend edition had a very interesting article titled “25 Documents You Need Before You Die.”

Basically, it says that you should make sure that the originals of all of your valuable papers are put somewhere safe and that a loved one knows where that safe place is. Otherwise, when you become incapacitated or after you die there may be a great deal of frustration and unnecessary work as your heir or estate representative tries to figure out what you’ve done and how to prove it.

Check out this article and also check out Die Smart for more information on what to do.

National Healthcare Decisions Day – April 16, 2011

National, state and local organizations have joined together to ensure that all adults have the opportunity to communicate and document their healthcare decisions. Too often, someone’s wishes are not known and steps are taken during a critical medical situation that he or she would not have wanted.

Have you done any advance healthcare planning? Do you even know what your choices are? Have you prepared an advance healthcare directive and shared its contents with your loved ones?

The objectives of the National Healthcare Decisions Day are to provide information to the public and improve the ability of healthcare facilities and providers to offer guidance about advance healthcare planning to their patients.

Don’t force your family to make end of life decisions for you. Tell them what you want and confirm your choices in writing with a living will or other advance directive document. Make April 16th the day you have a discussion with your family, convey your wishes and sign the necessary paperwork.

For further information, go to http://diesmart.com/elder-law/living-wills/ or http://diesmart.com/elder-law/health-care-power-of-attorney/ or http://diesmart.com/elder-law/other-advanced-health-care-directives/